INT. SCHOOL – MEDIEVAL DRAMA CLASS – DAY

Students sit in Medieval Drama class with “Castle of Perseverance” books on their desks. Professor Fee is in front of classroom. Half of the students seem engaged, the other half seem to be degenerates.

FEE
Take out your books, everyone – you should have read “The Castle of Perseverance.” This starts our section on morality plays. Morality plays deal with the temptation of mankind towards the Devil and his vices.

PRIDE
Yeah, the Devil was the man. He had the best lines.

FEE
That’s a fine answer, Pride, fine answer. I’m sure you’re going to write the next American novel. Any other intelligent Insights from my favorite freshman class?

GLUTTONY
(mid-chew)
The Virtues sucked! They were so boring!

FEE
Interesting, we can work with this. Care to elaborate, Gluttony?

GLUTTONY
Well, I mean it’s all peachy to say that God’s gonna sweep into our lives and rescue us like fuckin’ Bruce Wayne or something, but I’d rather take care of myself. Don’t get me wrong, Jesus is by far my favorite superhero; I’d totally read his comic book.

TEMPERANCE
Oh, I beg to differ! The Virtues were the only noble characters in the play. They helped Mankind.

FEE
(sarcastic)
I’m glad you’ve all had such intelligent reactions to this. Let’s start out by reading “The Banns” – this section of the play would be read days before the play was performed. Who would like to read?

Pride hands a paper airplane to Envy, sits back in her chair, looks disinterested. Envy throws the paper airplane at Industry, avidly raising her hand. The airplane misses her and hits Fee.

FEE
Envy, I’m glad you volunteered.

Industry puts her hand down dejectedly.

FEE
Start on page 799 with your very best Middle English accent!

Envy doesn’t have a book and Generosity hands him hers and points to the passage. Envy begins to read slowly, stumbling through it.

ENVY
The case of oure cominge, you to declare, Every man in himself forsothe he it may finde; Whou Mankinde into this werld born is ful bare And bare schal beried be at his last ende. God him gevith two aungels ful yep and ful yare, The Goode Aungel and the Badde, to him for to lende.

FEE
That’s quite enough, Envy, we don’t need you butchering any more of it. Industry, you seemed eager to read earlier – why don’t you continue for us?

INDUSTRY
Oh, thanks!

She stands up at her seat and clears her throat while Envy stands behind her and makes faces. Pride snickers.

INDUSTRY
The Goode techith him goodnesse; the Badde, sinne and sare. Whanne the ton hath the victory, the tother goth behende By skill. The Goode Aungel coveitith evermore Mans salvacion, And the Badde bysitith him evere to his dampnation.And God hathe govyn Man fre arbitracion Whether he wil himself save or his soule spill.

Industry sits back down and Envy stops making fun of her. There is a sudden KNOCK at the door.

FEE
Yes, come in!

The door opens and in comes the school principal, DR. GODFREY, with new student, MANNY in tow. Manny seems timid and looks like a country bumpkin. The vices start to laugh as soon as they see him.

WRATH
Hey, get a load of this dweeb.

GREED
Yeah man, fresh meat.

Manny appears uncomfortable.

CONSCIENCE
Professor Fee, this is Manny. He’s a new student.

MANNY
(in a country accent)
Yes sir, just arrived here from the state of Missouri yesterday. I don’t know anybody here, and I don’t know what I’m doing here – but I’m here.

FEE
Missouri, a fine place. Fields, cows, the fresh smell of manure in the morning… all the finer things in life.

CONSCIENCE
I hope you’ll all make him feel welcome here. I need two students to show Manny around for the rest of the day. Any volunteers?

ANGEL raises her hand immediately.

CONSCIENCE
Thank you, Angel. And who else?

DEMONA
Great, all Angel can show him is where the library is – some fun tour that will be.

The vices snicker from the back and encourage her.

CONSCIENCE
Well, if you think that you know so much, Demona, you can show him around too.

Demona looks angry and clenches her fist, while the Vices laugh at her.

Dr. Godfrey exits the room as the bell rings. All exit the room with the exception of Manny, Angel, and Demona. Angel walks over to Manny and shakes his hand.

ANGEL
Manny, welcome to Morality High. I hope you’ll like it here, it’s a wonderful school – you just have to watch out for some of the students.

Angel cranes her neck and gestures towards Demona.

ANGEL
Some of them are just out for themselves and they’ll use you. If you listen to me, you should be fine.

She turns to Demona, who is still sitting in her seat.

DEMONA
What are you trying to say? You’re telling him lies. Manny, don’t listen to her. If you stick with her, you’ll never have any fun. You should come with me and hang out with my gang. We’re the toughest and coolest kids in this school.

MANNY
Do you guys all sit together at lunch? I’m pretty hungry. Maybe I can meet them.

ANGEL
I’ll take you to the cafeteria! I have some friends I’d like you to meet. Demona, if you’re busy or something, you don’t have to come.

Angel puts her arm around Manny and ushers him toward the door.

DEMONA
No way. You and I both know how important it is that he sits at the right table. Let’s go, Manny.

Demona grabs his other arm as they exit the classroom.

INT. – CAFETERIA – DAY

There are two tables at opposite ends of the cafeteria. One side seats the Vices, the other side seats the Virtues. Manny, Angel, and Demona enter the cafeteria and stand in the middle of the room.

ANGEL
Manny, why don’t you come sit with me at this table over here? This crowd will be good for you. It’s a rad group of kids – members of the Chess Club are over here, singers in the Glee Club, some of the school Mathletes, and even the cheerleaders. I think you’d get along really well with all of them.

DEMONA
No way am I letting him sit over there with you losers! All they do during lunch is homework and chirp about how they can help the school do this and that. You guys are just boring. Now, Manny, check out my table – this is where The Vices sit.

Manny looks confused as Demona turns him to the face the Vices table.

DEMONA
Now here we have a table!

The girls wave and blow kisses at Manny while the guys smoke cigarettes and try to sneak alcohol at the table.

DEMONA
You don’t see killer legs like those at her table, now do you? Over there, all you see are goody-two shoes. But here – over here – we’ve got the best women, the best food – all the greasy chicken nuggets you can steal from the entrée line – and all of the good stuff that you’re not allowed to have in school.

MANNY
Gosh, Demona, this is sure exciting! I’ve never made it with a girl that wasn’t my kin. But then again, I don’t want to get mixed up with any of your fooling.

DEMONA
Shit! That’s a little twisted – even for me. But come on, what are you worried about? The Vices never get caught. With us, you’ll have as much power as you want. Those cheer leaders over there – they don’t got nothin’. The only one who likes them is the principal – and nobody likes him.

MANNY
Well, you’ve made some good points.

ANGEL
Manny, please, don’t sit with them – they’re really not good for you, they’ll ruin you! Please come sit over here, I’ll take care of you.

DEMONA
Don’t listen to that teacher’s pet, come with me.

ANGEL
Manny, don’t do it! Demona’s just trying to trick you.

DEMONA
I’m only looking out for your pleasure, Manny. What do you want out of school? Borings A’s or a good time?

Manny hesitates for a minute, looking back and forth from Angel to Demona, then setting his eyes on Demona.

MANNY
You’re only young once. This is my chance for a new start.

DEMONA
I knew you were cool, man. You’ll be a Vice soon enough. Come on and meet the gang.

Demona leads Manny away from Angel, who stands forlornly in the middle of the room.

ANGEL
Why? Why has he left me? Doesn’t he know that I’m trying to take care of him? Doesn’t he see how dangerous Demona and The Vices are? He’ll regret this decision soon enough. After he sees what that type of life is really like, he’ll come back to me.

DEMONA
Welcome to the coolest table in school. I’m in charge here so as you can see I have the best seat in the house, this nice comfy throne I’ve stolen from the computer lab [rolly chair]. If you forget that goody-two-shoes over there and stick with me one day you’ll inherit this prized position. This here is my best buddy Lust.

LUST
(aside to Demona)
Who’s this punk?

DEMONA
The newbie from Missouri, just go along with it, he doesn’t have a clue. We can make him do whatever we want. I already got him to ditch Angel and Co.

LUST
Oh Manny, so nice to meet you. Let me get you a nice drink, you must be so thirsty coming all the way from Missouri.

(grabs flask from one of the guys and pours it in his coke)

Oh and you’ve gotta try the fine cuisine here at Morality High.

(grabs tray of food from one of other sins who’s just come back from the lunchline).

I’ll hook you up with some real babes.

MANNY
If you say you can make me cool, I’ll do whatever you tell me to.

LUST
Good little hillbilly.

FOLLY enters the room.

LUST
This here’s my little brother, Folly. He does all our homework. None of us would still be in school if it weren’t for this genius sibling of mine.

Tousles Folly’s hair, pats on head to rile him up.

FOLLY
(bats Lust’s hand away) Yeah, yeah lay off it. I’ll do your work but you better show some respect man ‘cause you won’t make it here without me.

MANNY
Rock on! This just keeps getting better and better.

DEMONA
Welcome to the club. Come on guys let’s hook him up with some hotter duds than this overalls and straw hat ensemble. Just listen to everything I say and go along with it and by the time we’re through with you you’ll have everything you ever wanted. For instance, all the babes will be checking you out as you walk down the hallway. Just don’t be caught with Angel and her crowd.

MANNY
Sounds good, guys. Hook me up.

Demona, Folly, and Lust take Manny off to get a new wardrobe. Enter Backbiter.

BACKBITER
(saunters in)
Well look at that happy family, isn’t that precious. Things are way too calm around here. The virtues are all juiced on their pom-poms and school spirit and the vices have found themselves a new member of their gang, but here I am Backbiter, alone and bored. Maybe I should shake things up a bit. You know how easy it is to spread a lie around here? I’m a professional, craftier than a fox. These wastoids listen to anything I say.

Demona, Lust, and Folly return with Manny, now pimped out in vice attire.

DEMONA
Backbiter! So nice to see you. I’ve got some business to take care of. Could you show our new friend Manny here back to the table and introduce him to Greed. I know they’ll get along fine.

Lust and Folly go back to the Vices’ table with Manny and Backbiter. Angel comes over to Demona in plateau.

ANGEL
Are you kidding me! Seriously, Greed is such a jerk! I can’t believe you’re letting Manny associate with such scum. This won’t go well. She won’t take care of him at all.

DEMONA
Woa. Take a chill pill. Greed’s a good guy she just likes to get things done her own way. Who do you think are, anyway? Kiss my ass Angel.

Backbiter sits at the table. Greed stands up to speak while the other Vices pull Manny towards his seat.

GREED
Chickitee check this. Look at my gold watch and my leather jacket! If you’ve got dough, then life is easy, Manny.

She pulls out her wallet full of bills.

GREED
Money will keep you on top. Don’t be afraid to be selfish - only look out for yourself. You don’t owe anyone anything. Greed is good! Do as I do, I’ll take care of you.

MANNY
That makes a lot of sense – I know you wouldn’t steer me wrong. You’ve been around, you know what you’re talking about. From now on, I’m only looking out for me.

Greed smiles and takes off her gold watch. She gives it to Manny.

GREED
You’re a smart guy, Manny. Alright everybody, don’t be shy. Stand up and introduce yourselves to our new friend here.

Greed sits down and Pride stands.

PRIDE
Manny, let me tell you something about myself. I like to show off what I’ve got. There’s nothing wrong with bragging if you ask me. If you’ve got it, why not flaunt it?

Pride sits down and Wrath rises.

WRATH
Pride, you’re full of yourself, man. Let me tell you about me, Manny. If you want things done you need to be aggressive. These are all I need to get things done.

Wrath shows off his arm muscles.

WRATH
Don’t catch me on a bad day.

Wrath sits and Envy stands. They give each other a high-five.

ENVY
(nods at Wrath)
Wrath and I are a team, we work best together. Where he goes, I go. I’m never satisfied with what I have, especially since everybody else has it better. I’ll do whatever it takes to get what I want, even if it means going behind my friends’ backs or spreading rumors – I will get what I want, and I want it all.

Envy sits down and Gluttony rises.

GLUTTONY
My favorite part of the day is lunch time. I just can’t get enough of the cafeteria food. And even when you see me in class, I’ll be snacking away. Chips, cookies, chicken nuggets, fries, ho-hos, donuts, pizza – you name it, I’ll eat it. Eating feels so good, there’s nothing better than a full stomach. Eat until you ralph, is what I say!

LUST
There’s nothing wrong with having a little fun.

She pulls out a porn magazine.

LUST
Check out these beautiful bodies, Manny. Life is all about pleasure, and you’ve gotta get it however you can. I know you’re a man with needs, and there’s nothing wrong with satisfying that. If there’s anything you need, I can lend a hand … and more.

Lust winks at him as she sits down. Sloth rises.

SLOTH
Enough about women, they take up too much of your energy. You’ve got to learn to take it easy. Skip classes, sleep in. You’ll need your rest if you’re going to be hanging out with Lust. They never check the gym bleachers.

Sloth sits down.

MANNY
When it comes to brains, I got the short end of the stick, but ya’ll seem to have it all figured out. From now on, I’ll be sticking with the Vices.

Manny sits down at the table with the Vices.

ANGEL
What a terrible turn of events! Manny, how could you believe them? I’m ashamed of you. I thought I sent you on the right path, but you’ve gone astray. You’re going to regret this in due time.

DEMONA
No, Angel! You’re yesterday’s news. No one wants to be around you, so come kiss my asshole! Manny would not have chosen this if it wasn’t his fate.

Demona exits the cafeteria.

ANGEL
Oh Manny, I thought you were cool. But you’ve made the wrong decision and you’ve embarrassed me. The Principal is not going to overlook this. I hope Dr. Godfrey has mercy on you.

Conscience enters the room and approaches Angel. She pats her on the back.

CONSCIENCE
What’s wrong, Angel? Why do you look so upset?

ANGEL
My only job was to show Manny around the school, and I’ve already lost him.

CONSCIENCE
Angel, don’t worry about it. You’re being too hard on yourself. Dr. Godfrey trusted you for a reason, you won’t let him down. We’ll get Manny back.

Conscience leaves her and approaches Manny at the Vices’ table.

CONSCIENCE
Manny, I need to have a word with you.

MANNY
So talk! I can hear you – go ahead.

Conscience angrily grabs Manny by the hair and pulls him aside. Manny appears disinterested and impatient.

CONSCIENCE
What the fuck are you thinking? Do you realize who you’re hanging out with? That crowd is trouble, Manny. They’re no good. This isn’t news to you. Are you listening to me?

MANNY
These guys are looking out for me. I’ve heard enough from you.

He turns to walk away from her and she punches him in the back of the head sending him down to the floor. He lies on the floor for a minute in pain, while the Vices laugh at him. He struggles to get back up and appears very confused, looking around.

MANNY
I get it now!

He looks over at the Vices’ table and suddenly looks down-trodden.

MANNY
Ugh, what was I thinking? I can’t believe I was stupid enough to believe those guys. They don’t give two hoots about me. Now I’ll never be able to get ahead in this school. Oh, Conscience, what can I do?

CONSCIENCE
It’s not too late, Manny. Your reputation isn’t ruined yet. Come sit with us at our table where you are always welcome. Everyone would love to meet you.

MANNY
Conscience, I can’t thank you enough. You saved me!

He turns to face the Vices’ table.

MANNY
Hey, guys – I’ve had enough. It’s time for me to move on to a better group.

He begins to walk away with Conscience and Demona stops them en route.

DEMONA
Hey! What the devil, man? Where do you think you’re going? You must be stupid to listen to this old hag. Come back with me, we’ll have some fun.

ANGEL
No, Manny, don’t listen to her! Come with us, please! There is still time.

MANNY
Angel, I will do whatever you say. You know what is best for me.

Angel and Manny go to Virtues table.

ANGEL
Welcome Manny, to the table where the Virtues sit. Okay, girls, introduce yourselves.

MEEKNESS
My name’s meekness and I like to lie low. No need to brag or boast, modesty’s the way to go. Attention you don’t need to seek, when your heart is always meek!

PATIENCE
My name is Patience and I sure know how to wait. Why rush things, when nothing good can come from haste?

CHARITY
You can call me Charity, I think it’s really sweet when others are happy and rich with everything they need!

ABSTINENCE
I go by Abstinence, restraint’s the name of my game. Eating too much just makes you fat, you’ve only yourself to blame!

CHASTITY
C-H-A-S-T-I-T-Y, that’s my only alibi. No man no matter how fine can get into these pants of mine!

INDUSTRY
I’m Industry, and being busy is the best. Bring on the homework, it’s way better than sex!

GENEROSITY
Generosity here, I always try to Share. Giving’s pretty wicked and it lets them know I care!

MANNY
Man, ya’ll are some bodacious virgins. This is my new fave table.

MEEKNESS
We’re glad you’re with us and we’ll help keep you on the right path away from the Vices.

DEMONA
Ugh, this is getting a bit ridiculous.

BACKBITER
(Clueless)
Yo homey, what’s happening?

DEMONA
Look you dweeb, shit’s going down. I’m getting desperate. The Batcavers are really suckering Manny in, and I don’t like to be outdone. Gather up the ranks, this is war. We’re gonna get Manny back.

BACKBITER
Finally some action in this joint. I love bringing bad news! (meanders over to Vices table) Yo Vices, listen up! While you dufuses are enjoying your fine grindage and drink over here, the Virtues have Manny in their grasp. Pride, Envy, Wrath, you’d lose your heads if they weren’t attached to your shoulders, but I thought you’d at least be able to hold on to our new friend from Missouri. I’ll show you! (beats up Pride, Envy, Wrath)

PRIDE
Hey! It’s not my fault, Meekness screwed me over!

BACKBITER
And you - Gluttony, Sloth, Lust - what’s your problem? You should have found it really easy to tempt him. Now get with the program!

Backbiter beats up Gluttony, Sloth, Lust.

LUST
Lay off it, man! It wasn’t all our fault!

BACKBITER
And Greediness! How could you let him choose Generosity over you!

Backbiter starts bending Greed’s elbow backwards.

GREED
Uncle! Uncle! If you would stop beating us all up, we’ll get him back from those stupid cows!

BACKBITER
Whatever, just try and collect yourselves into some semblance of order. Grab your weapons, this means war!

The Vices get up from the table and grab their weapons as they cause a commotion.

MANNY
Well, holy cow! What’s with this school right now? Everyone’s gone crazy! All of this over where I sit at lunch – golly gee! I ain’t nobody special – there ain’t no need to fight on account of me. The Vices think they can tempt me so easily, but I know better than to be friends with those punks. I may be from Missouri, but I still got a brain in my head.

ANGEL
Come on, girls! I’m counting on everyone to pull together and take down the Vices.

MEEKNESS
Grab your bubble guns, girls! It’s time to show them what we’re made of! Let our virtues like bubbles fall. Rise above them, proud and tall. Today we will get Manny on our side once and for all.

DEMONA
Hustle, boys, let’s get going!

The Virtues use their bubble guns, and bubble wands as weapons while the Vices run around and attack the bubbles with their various weapons. This chaos ensues for a long period.

Pride approaches Meekness and shoves her, looking her up and down disapprovingly.

PRIDE
Meekness, you little hypocrite! Look at you, dressed all perfect and clean. It doesn’t help; you’ll never look as good as me.

Meekness begins to blow bubbles in her face.

MEEKNESS
Bag your face, Pride! You don’t know what you’re dealing with. You don’t know your ass from your esophagus!

Wrath approaches Patience.

WRATH
Yo, Patience! What do you have to say? Give us back Manny, or I will rip your clothes to shreds with the knife I have here. I’ll beat you, you bitch, black as coal. You wanna save someone? Save a drum, bang a drummer. Give Manny to me, you mother fucker.

Wrath tosses his drumsticks at her.

PATIENCE
You just wait and see, boys. Principal Godfrey is going to put an end to this.

Patience blows bubbles in his face.

ENVY
Look out, Charity, or I’ll beat you with this chain I got here. Give it up, you dish clout. Let Manny free, or I will tear this cafeteria apart.

CHARITY
Can’t you see that I only want good things for everyone, Envy? I don’t want to bring you down, I just want to help you up. You’re hurting yourselves and Manny.

Charity grabs him and hugs him while Envy squirms and protests. The fighting is still going on.

WRATH
Ouch! I’m black and blue from these bitches!

DEMONA
You guys are wusses. You’re not worth a turd! Attack, attack!

GLUTTONY
I know the trick – there’s nothing more lethal than my gas. I had beans for lunch, I’m ready to blow! This will do Manny in for good.

LUST
Yo, Princess Purity! You’re such a tight-ass. Unlike you, I know how to turn men on. I make both men and women scream my name.

CHASTITY
I have power of my own around here, Lust. I’m not a slut like you are. I’m smarter than that. I’m proud of being a virgin, and will maintain my chastity until the day I die.

Sloth goes over to the Virtues’ table and starts going through their backpacks. He rips pages from the books and throws things everywhere.

SLOTH
So these are all your precious belongings, huh? Your textbooks, your pens, your pom-poms, your organizers, your magic markers… how will you function without them?

INDUSTRY
Everyone, look out for Sloth! He’s bitter and nothing but trouble. He’s a rascal not worth a piss! He wants to destroy Manny.

Sloth is still rooting through their belongings.

INDUSTRY
He’ll pay for this! I will put him to shame! I know exactly the type of reading that he needs to keep him busy.

She pulls out “Cat in the Hat” and walks over to him.

INDUSTRY
Sloth, please stop! I know you’re bitter because you can’t handle reading Faulkner, but why don’t you try reading something a little more suited to your level of intelligence?

SLOTH
What the hell is this? “The Cat in The Hat?” Forget it, man – too many words.

He pushes the book away.

The fighting is still going on, and the Virtues have managed to push the Vices away from their table.

GLUTTONY
Ugh! Abstinence has beaten me good. I’m all bruised and banged up – enough of this!

LUST
Me, too! Let’s go.

Gluttony and Lust leave the cafeteria.

Manny hides under the cafeteria table, and Greed walks over to him.

GREED
Come out, come out wherever you are, Manny. I’m hurt that you’ve left me. Come out and play with me.

GENEROSITY
Where is Principal Godfrey when you need him? Greed is the worst of them all. I don’t know how much longer Manny will be able to resist her.

GREED
Shut up, Generosity! No one was talking to you.

She ignores her and continues to address Manny.

GREED
Manny, come out and talk. Take my hand, let’s get you out of this dump. I’ll take care of you, don’t you worry.

Manny agrees to come out from under the table.

INT. – CAFETERIA, GRADUATION DAY – FOUR YEARS LATER

Students are gathered in preparation for the ceremony.

MANNY
I can’t believe this is it! We’re actually graduating. I feel so old, man. I can’t believe I got into Gettysburg College—it’s a really good school. I don’t know what I should do—do you think I’m ready for it?

GREED
Woah, man! Forget college! What a waste of time—it’s just more reading and writing. You should just come with me and work for my dad in the cycle shop. You need money to lead the good life, especially after high school. And working in the shop gives us plenty of opportunities to sell a little extra to the customers, if you know what I mean.

Greed pulls out a bag of cocaine.

MANNY
Man, put that stuff away! We don’t want to advertise. The Virtues are walking by, and I don’t want to them to see – especially if we’re going to Gettysburg together.

GREED
Screw them! Money is a man’s best friend. Cars, beer, chicks: they all cost a pretty penny. You don’t want to be wasting your time reading about the philosophy of underwater basket-weaving. Get a head start in the world!

ANGEL walks by with her VIRTUES, taking pictures in their graduation day dresses.

MANNY
Yeah I guess you’re right. College is lame. So long as I have food at the table, a roof over my head, and a girl by my side I’ll be okay. And who cares how I get the money? A man should take care of himself; life’s too short to spend all your time worrying about the future.

ANGEL
Did you hear that, ladies? Manny wants to ditch us to hang out with those clowns in the hog shop. And I bet Greed will have him selling worse things than motorcycles too. He’s just going to be a bum for the rest of his life if he keeps listening to that moron Greed. We’ve got to find a way to change his mind and make him come to college with us. We’ll even resort to kidnapping if we have to!

MANNY and GREED exit the cafeteria.

MEEKNESS
Manny’s a big boy now, Angel. He can make up his own mind. If he wants to be an asshole, let him be an asshole. Let’s just get on with our lives.

PATIENCE
Yeah, it sucks, but it’s not our fault. He doesn’t have anyone to blame but himself—he’ll get what’s coming to him, just you wait.

CHARITY
Well, he was fun to hang out with, but if he’s going to be stupid like that, good riddance! Surprise, surprise: another high school boy making a dumb decision. But he’s old enough to buy cigarettes and porn so I guess he’s old enough to think for himself.

ABSTINENCE
Someone’s in for a rude awakening. The real world is going to walk all over him if he holds onto that macho attitude. Greed won’t be his friend forever, and then who will Manny have to lean on?

MANNY and GREED reenter the cafeteria, goofing around with their graduation caps, etc.

CHASTITY
UGH! Men! You can’t teach them anything! They always have to learn the hard way. Guess when he’s flipping burgers to feed his baby’s momma he’ll regret the day he ditched us. You stupid ass.

INDUSTRY
So I guess your future never crossed your mind while you were hanging out with those squirrels. What good is a big greasy motorcycle gonna do for you when you’re dead? You’ll probably just crash that thing into a tree first time you’re on it—Lord knows you won’t be smart enough to learn how to ride it first. I can see it now: squealing tires, helmet rolling across the highway, bones popping out of your skin in all directions. Then you’ll wish you were roaming the quiet halls of Gettysburg College with your real friends.

GENEROSITY
Woah, Industry…take a red! It’s not Manny’s fault; it’s that idiot Greed and her cronies. I always knew they were bad news.

DEMONA
Listen to these bimbos blather on! Wherever you find a group of silly girls, you’ll find lots of words. Let them strut around with their fine feathers: wherever pigeons roost, you’ll find a pile of bird shit! Manny, you’ll be okay as long as you ignore their squawking and stick with Greed.

MANNY
No worries, man! I trust Greed. After all, she’s living the dream! I don’t know any guy in the world who wouldn’t want what Greed has.

MANNY walks back over to GREED, who gives him a high five. Vices all celebrate.

GREED
Cuz I trust you, Manny, here’s a little something to get you started.

Greed hands Manny the bag of drugs and Manny quickly shoves it in his pocket.

GREED
I’m going to let you in on a little side business. Consider this a preview of all the money you’ll be making. It’s easy to make money off of poor suckers needing a fix. Welcome to the Greed family business, Manny!

Greed hands him a handful of cash.

MANNY
I got you covered, man.

ANGEL
Hey, what’s going on over here, Manny?

MANNY
Nothin’. It’s just some powdered sugar, Angel. We’re having a bakesale.

ANGEL
That’s funny Manny – I didn’t know that you and the Vices liked to bake.

She begin to walk away and then mutters to herself.

ANGEL
I have no choice – I have to tell the teachers.

Angel goes and gets MRS. RIGHT and MS. TRUTH.

MANNY withdraws to a table and sits alone, counting his money. VICE PRINCIPAL DEATH enters the cafeteria to address the student body.

PRIDE
Oh, great – here comes Vice Principal Death. He better not give us another boring speech.

V.P. DEATH
You knew this day would come, boys and girls. I’ve been waiting for four years to get rid of you sorry kids. I don’t have to read your shitty essays anymore, or listen to your voices crack in the middle of one of your half-assed attempts at a debate. I don’t care if you were the top of the class or if you failed most of your courses: you’re all graduating and getting out of here, and there’s nothing any of you can do to escape it.

He turns to Manny.

And you--you came here as a sorry little country bumpkin and stirred up the whole school. You’re the worst of them all! I won’t miss you for one minute.

Enter MRS. RIGHT and MS. TRUTH, followed by ANGEL. They walk over to the Vices with crossed arms.

MRS. TRUTH
So what’s this I hear about selling drugs?

They all glance around and try to look innocent.

PRIDE
Well, gee, Mrs. Truth – I don’t know anything about selling drugs.

GLUTTONY
Wasn’t me! Drugs aren’t even edible – I don’t waste my time with them.

GREED
My hands are clean – you can search me if you want.

MRS. RIGHT
Manny, do you know anything about this?

MANNY
No, Mrs. Right. I don’t know the first thing about selling drugs.

DEMONA
I don’t know, Miss Right – you better search him. You can’t trust those country bumpkins.

The teachers march over and search him. They find the bag of drugs in his pocket.

MRS. TRUTH
Just what I thought! Don’t you move, Manny. You’re in for it, now.

The teachers exit with the drugs.

MANNY
What a bitter blow! What the hell, guys? I thought you were my friends, but you all turned your backs on me. I’m screwed now.

GREED
You should’ve seen this coming, Manny. I took care of my stuff – now you take care of yours.

GREED
You knew this would happen, Manny. Happens to everyone. There’s nothing I can do for you now.

MANNY
This really sucks! This is the end of the road for me.

ANGEL
Poor Manny, he’s really gotten into trouble now. He’s made a mistake by getting involved with those Vices and he’s going to suffer for it. There’s nothing I can do for him now. He’ll have to get what he deserves.

MANNY
I’ve doomed myself! There’s nothing I can do to get out of this mess now.

Manny addressed Demona.

MANNY
I was stupid when I decided to leave the Virtues – my greediness has done me in.

DEMONA
Yes, you were! You made a mistake, you should be more careful with who you trust. Now you will pay for your decisions. You have no idea what suffering is yet. Have you ever heard of a place called prison? Your life is going to be hell on earth. Now, go off! Your prison cell is waiting for you.

Greed enters the doorway, and Demona addresses him.

DEMONA
You gave in to Greed, and this is what you get. Your impressive stupidity is pissing me off and I’m feeling extra assholish today. You’re going to experience pain like never before.

Demona walks over to him and strikes him. Manny falls to the ground.

DEMONA
And take this!

Demona kicks him as he lies on the ground. Manny cries out in pain. Sirens whir in the background.

DEMONA
Oh man, you hear that? They’re coming for you, Manny.

Manny cries louder.

MANNY
I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!

Four TEACHERS come running of the building and pick him up off of the ground.

MANNY
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do it! It was a mistake!

MS. MERCY
I can’t watch him be taken away like this. Someone needs to have mercy on this poor boy.

MRS. RIGHT
I disagree with you. Just because he’s sorry doesn’t mean he’s not guilty. He deserves to go to jail for what he’s done.

MS. TRUTH
Mrs. Right, Manny did something wrong and for that he should suffer.

MISS PEACE
Please, don’t be so harsh on him! He needs to be saved from this doomed path. We need to talk to Dr. Godfrey and see if there is any way he can save him, it’s not too late.

They all go back into the school to speak with Dr. Godfrey.

INT. – SCHOOL – GODFREY’S OFFICE

MS. TRUTH
Dr. Godfrey, we need to talk to you about Manny.

MS. MERCY
We’ve come to see if Manny should be allowed to graduate or expelled.

MRS. RIGHT
Let me put in my two cents.

MISS PEACE
Please hear me out as well.

DR. GODFREY
You are always welcome to share your thoughts with me. Come here and tell me what’s on your minds.

MS. TRUTH
Dr. Godfrey, in all your infinite wisdom and experience, you’ve always judged by what’s fair. How can you let Manny graduate under these circumstances?

MS. MERCY
Dr. Godfrey, don’t forget to be merciful. Didn’t you excuse that student Adam when he stole an apple from the teacher’s lounge? Even though Manny violated policy, shouldn’t he get another chance?

MRS. RIGHT
Dr. Godfrey, if you acquit Manny, you’re going against all the policies you’ve instituted. There’s a reason for punishing students. He’s been spending so much time with that gang, the Vices, that he’s forgotten the difference between right and wrong. It’s too late for mercy!

MS. MERCY
Mrs. Right, how can you say that? Manny is a good kid; he’s fallen in with a bad crowd. I have a hard time believing that the Vices had nothing to do with this stunt. I’m sure they put him up to this.

MS. TRUTH
Manny has done nothing to merit a second chance. He’s never tutored, volunteered at our after school programs, or even consistently completed his schoolwork.

MISS PEACE
Dr. Godfrey, I’m asking you a favor. I’ll always adhere to your guidance, but I’ll always support our students. Even with all the bad reputations of kids these days, you’ve always tried to see the best in our students. We should all be able to agree to do what’s best for Manny and all other troublesome students.

DR. GODFREY
Well spoken, Miss Peace. After taking in all of your counsels, my decision is to allow Manny to graduate. I believe in tempering punishment with leniency. Will you all be so kind as to find Manny and prepare him for graduation?

MS. TRUTH
Yes, we will.

Miss Peace, Ms. Truth, Mrs. Right, Ms. Mercy all go to where Manny is being tormented by Demona.

MISS PEACE
Demoma, leave him alone! You’ve caused Manny enough harm. Wait in the office – we’ll deal with you later.

DEMONA
Whatever man, I’m outta this place. I don’t need to graduate. Well, Manny, I guess you’ve been saved once again. Have fun being a slave to society in four years.

The teachers lead Manny to the graduation ceremony and bring him over to Dr. Godfrey.

DR. GODFREY
Manny, I’ve decided to show you mercy. You will still be allowed to graduate with the other students. I’ve always had faith in you, even when your behavior has disappointed me.

Manny goes over and sits next to Angel and the Virtues.

Addresses the audience:

I believe that as graduation approaches, all students should search their consciences and give an accounting of their time here in school. What did they spend their time doing? Did they actually prepare for their lives after? On graduation day, I will ask this of all my students. Those that do well, they will approach graduation with feelings of joy, while those who have done poorly will look back with regret. No student can face this time in their life without these kind of thoughts. I implore you all to think of your future, right from the time you first enter these halls. Think of these final moments!